do you miss me?

I literally HATE that question. Do you ever feel forced to say you miss someone when you don't. I suffer with that. truthfully very seldomly do i miss people! lol. i didn't even cry at my HS graduation. Yes, you build memories but I let it go. It came, It was fun, its gone. NEXT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
that's a trait in me that I get from my mom, along with many other traits. We are the exact same in a social aspect. Honestly, i've grown not to be so much of a people person anymore. People are assholes. People don't care. And the sooner most people realize that, the quicker I can stop hearing stories and tears of friends who got fucked over. I laugh at the fact that I tell people not to have expectations of me, because i will FAIL them. lmao. its so true! sometimes i feel this is an ugly streak that I have about me, but if people realized how much i sincerely don't care to prove to be funny, social, or anything THE BETTER. i'm so much of an individual that it often freaks me the hell out. Is it bad that I'm almost EMOTIONLESS when it comes to missing people and GIRL friendships? no literally, the worst scene for me is "girls night" ... AHH!!! i don't even know what the FUCK i can talk to a group of bitches about for multiple hours. I've discovered that I have A.D.D...(intense) & i get bored VERY EASILY!! people bore me, so i get over them without feeling ANYTHING!

i'm probably the most loyal, warm hearted friend you can find, but sadly, i can live without you. Whats odd is that, I have grown into this person. I used to be the most people person you can ever meet; class clown in fact. (still semi am) ,,but i've learned to do things when I WANT to and not because someone else wants me to. I don't go out to be cute and prance around boys. in fact..., i HATE being hollered at by boys. it's far from ideal for me. i'm just not that girl!!!!!!!

i guess the fact is... i don't care about unknown people. a GENUINE feeling. maybe its because entering my years in college, so many people have fucked me over. OR maybe its just a growing up,,, growing different process.. whatever it is I'M NUMB to it, and think that's kind of scary. ... SHRINK!