Monday, July 19, 2010

Too Friendly?

As usual, another GREAT weekend

but this weekend went down a different road that doesnt usually occur too often! ...arguments and stored feelings were released amongst my friends. It was like a friendship battle war and all the thoughts and emotions one had for each other were relinquished onto the other. it was crazy.

Of course i'm ALWAYS the good guy :) , so i watched for two days my friends attack and yell as i sit in the back staring out the window. some arguments are just not mines to jump into. When i introduce my friends to each when do the lines of friendship become too friendly tho? Should your two friends be allowed to hook up? Should they be able to invite YOUR friend to something w/o running it by you? ...alot of mixing has been happening which i'm cool with, but a lot has gone up in flames because of it..and that's when the problem arises. lol. UGH. basically, i HATE being the middle man. :(

Thursday, July 15, 2010

ME.

Today i commend myself ONCE AGAIN on my bold and braveness and unwillingness to settle. I ended it with a person who was once my comfort zone. In a blatant and very direct way, i said " i NEED you to just leave me alone for awhile." ...hearing me say those words nearly shocked me, but then again when it comes to standing up for what I believe in, i've always been very courageous. When i explained to my friend the situation, she responded with " wow. i'm shock at your boldness. I never seen a female stand up for herself like you did. Usually females ignore, but you expressed to him and told him its over. Thats amazing"....immediately the first thing that crossed my mind is, are women really this weak? has she really NEVER seen a woman stand up for herself when it comes to relationships, and if so., does that say much about us?.
smh. whatever, i know me, and i know that this was a HUGE chip off the shoulder.
Settling has never been my style, and I sweep those who enforce me to, right under the rug; Tho it may take time. All in all i'm glad i know my worth and what i deserve. Many girls do not.

So back to living for me! &&&& kissing frogs! lol.

Be YOU! do YOU! ...at the end of the day, we are all we have anyways :)

Monday, July 12, 2010

Waiting

Seriously, playing house with some guy can get tiresome! but when?
How long do we have to ACT as if we are in a relationship without the words " I am committed to you." It's truly troublesome to me, and i guess i'm clearly the pawn in this game. I want the commitment!. How long can you be crazy about a person until you eventually turn just plain crazy! ...i feel like i'm SCREAMING and wanting him to hear me, but my voice won't elevate! I'm waiting for enough to be enough, I'm waiting for things to go SO BAD that leaving was amongst the BEST decision ever, I'm waiting for the kisses to go out of style, for the friendship to get boring, for the excitment to get dull, the laughter to become cries, the cuddling to become seperations, the quality time to turn into FUMING arguments, the date nights to lack sparks, the sillyness to transform into seriousness, and for the BULLSHIT to become a bit more vivid. I want to feel how I am supposed to, and not how I want to!

Monday, July 5, 2010

Fireworks.

HAPPY JULY 4TH ALL!!!!!!

my july 4th weekend has been one of the best weekends EVER! breathtaking && perfect. I spent it with good friends, new friends, old friends, and people that i really love! it was exciting.!! its funny because i had been goin through a funk earlier about certain situations with people, but it felt like GODs mission was to give me the best weekend ever, and he did!

From cookouts, to clubs, to random adventures to hoboken and drives throughout the Jersey && NY state, my smile had been the most genuine in weeks. lol.
it felt reallly good ! && ive never encountered "haters" until this weekend. pretty interesting, those creatures. lol.

Hope you all had just as beautiful as a weekend as i :)

Supporters!