Waiting

Seriously, playing house with some guy can get tiresome! but when?
How long do we have to ACT as if we are in a relationship without the words " I am committed to you." It's truly troublesome to me, and i guess i'm clearly the pawn in this game. I want the commitment!. How long can you be crazy about a person until you eventually turn just plain crazy! ...i feel like i'm SCREAMING and wanting him to hear me, but my voice won't elevate! I'm waiting for enough to be enough, I'm waiting for things to go SO BAD that leaving was amongst the BEST decision ever, I'm waiting for the kisses to go out of style, for the friendship to get boring, for the excitment to get dull, the laughter to become cries, the cuddling to become seperations, the quality time to turn into FUMING arguments, the date nights to lack sparks, the sillyness to transform into seriousness, and for the BULLSHIT to become a bit more vivid. I want to feel how I am supposed to, and not how I want to!