I WANT ALL THE ANSWERS!!!

OMGOSH do you ever just want to have ALL the ANSWERS!! like does your mind ever go a thousand miles per minute and you wish you had an answer for everything you think. But shouldn't you be able to have all the answers about YOURSELF. omgosh how frustrating! Like if i think " why the hell do I do this? or feel like this?" and you can't even answer your own QUESTION about YOURSELF, how aggy! lol. very random yet very annoying! even when teachers talk about something and I don't know what it is, I immediately go home and google it. Why? I'm obsessed with having all the answers and one day I truly hope to attain every answer to every question or feeling that comes within my space. Maybe this is a little unrealistic, but in a world full of reality, who can label the real from the unreal! ...i WILL have all the ANSWERS!!

Fall For your type

" Can i, can i, save you from you.
Cuz you know that somethings different
and that champagne you've been sippin,
aint suppose to make you different over time.
It's starting to feel, like its the wrong thing to do girl,
cus with all that recognition makes it hard for you to listen to the the things that Ima say to make you mine" -

-Drake

Now if we rewind to my early blog days when I did my mini feature on Drake, and fast forward to now, I'm still as into him as ever. Today me and my friend were sitting in the car talking about relationships (typical) and replayed this song at least 10 times. Although it is a teasing 2 minute track, this first verse was so powerful. Listening to my friend talk about her relationship and the connection to this song, made us open our eyes to what Drake was saying. Like so many of us, we meet people with potential to be that person we want hem to be. Despite all the qualities that intially attracted us to that person, it's so often that their flaws stand out greater. And we attempt to make it our priority to fix them. Drake's line " with all that recognition makes it hard for you to listen to the things that Ima say to make you mine" was a REAL ass verse. (pardon).

Breakdown: Usually we get acknowledged or recognized for certain qualities about us that stand out to people. whether it's that you are funny, an honest person, silly, egotistical,...(you get where I'm going) , and all of that may be cool to your friends and outsiders, but stepping into a relationship front, there are things that you may need to compromise. I was taken back that Drake got that deep into the song, and brought that to our attention. If people praise certain qualities about you, those same qualities may not be all 100% in a relationship aspect. So when do you compromise? When do you realize that changing them doesn't always change IT? ....

idk just a thought. but GO DRAKE!!!!!!!

Summer, hurry !

This summer I am anticipating on being simply AMAZING!! with someone new to play with (hehe), a new internship, and already the parties and cookouts lined up...i'm just soo excited to get away from this repetitive environment. It's to the point that I refuse to step outside my room unless I am doing something extrodinary....so usually that doesnt happen and i'm to myself. WHICH I DON'T MIND! some people just can't be to themselves, but I love it!! i love my "to me time". even if its reading weird things on the computer, magazines, shows, facials, or nails...i'm never bored with myself :)
Anyways back to summer 2010. i await youuuu. I'm really into this one person who I feel will help make this summer amazing. After two years of really not paying dudes too much mind, I actually get butterflies with this one. lol

I think this is the season to find someone. I'm beginning to notice a lot of friendships becoming dependent on one another and that is the BIGGEST sign that it is time for a MAN. lol. sadly, i'm the kind of girl that once i'm with someone i may just disappear from my girls for a sec. ONLY FOR A SEC. their is honestly no feeling like being in a relationship. Unlike girls, a man can check you, be the only person to be 100% honest with you. Your girlfriend won't always.

So girls, if you start to see yourself be all about your friendships please it is GET A MAN SEASON! ....and its getting uglier and uglier. lol

Do you like the way you sound?

....Lately i've been becoming more and more annoyed with people who talk about themselves CONSTANTLY. i am seriously one to be proud of things my friends accomplish but when you are consumed with the words "me, me, me," I shut down. How can one be so selfish but to ask you about you. How you are doing? How's life? How's your relationship?....some friends just don't ask and yet I am suppose to hear you drown yourself in a conversation that is ALL ABOUT YOU.

...i know that I can posess a selfish attitude but talking about myself constantly is something that I just can't do. I even find myself not having words to say back to the people that do this. Usually i do not choose my blog to vent in regards to personal things but this is a MAJOR one. Selfishness doesn't have to circle around the fact that you are about you, but it can also be in the aspect that you talk about you.

...I'm so grateful that I am the kind of person who is genuinely interested in other peoples lives...until thats all i hear.

HELLO 21 :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!

although i am a day off, i can't help but to share with you all my excitment about turning 21!!!!!!
Not so much for the events of a birthday but for the actual birthday itself!!! (okayy, maybe the events too) lol. I'm excited to be able to walk into a liquor store and come out with a bottle rather than the worry of coming out in cuffs from failed attempts; i'm excited to be WORRY FREE dealing with the fake I.D. situations, and most importantly i'm totally excited for the new age bracket. I'm referring to the check-off age group.., i'm officially welcomed to the 21-25 group! YAAAY!

So i'm pretty sure at this point in my life i am supposed to reevaluate things, but unfortunately/ i'm at a place right now that is 100% good. i love my friends, associates, family and overall life. What more can i ask for???

Maybe i'll think of some more in this TWENTY ONE stage !

lets talk about sex.

On VH1 today they aired a documentary called "New Virginity" which discussed sex in todays society and promoting abstinence until marriage. I have already begun to become interested in the "true love waits" movement, simply because I don't like how sex is being devalued, but after watching this documentary and having an in depth conversation with my friend, I am further more willing to explore this.

I don't know if most of you remember but Sex is supposed to be sacred; its having two bodies come together. What can be more sacred and intimate than that. It's as if we lost that view and just use sex to keep our mates satisfied, or to hurry and get it over with. Celebrities like Jessica Simpson, Miley Cyrus, the Jonas Brothers and Jordin Sparks are a few names to have pledged their vow to save sex for marriage, and I can say that I am truly inspired.

DID YOU KNOW that the average length of time one waits before sex is TWO MONTHS. REALLLY! TWO MONTHS!!. how do we even fully know someone in TWO MONTHS? and then we invite them inside of us;(pardon the graphic statement). I strongly feel as though Sex is being used as a dependent, and is redundant to a drug. Think about it; Like a drug, sex provides temporary satisfaction. you can be sad, mad, aggravated, and the moment you have "good sex" that glow comes back. Alcohol and drugs provides that same satisfaction for some

...What do we honestly benefit from moving into sex in a relationship. Is it even considered the "next level?" ...

So quick breakdown; if we talk with someone for two months, then have sex, ..where does the rest of the relationship go? What follows the sex?....

I've watched so many friends start relationships with sex and end in nothing. As girls we are ALL about pleasing our mate; and face it, sex is more important to a man than female. It's as if we're just giving it up to keep it up; keep the relationship moving, when in fact...sex does NOT make the bond deeper. yes! it feels good, and on a good night it can make you strangely feel beyond connected to that person. BUT if a man + a woman + sex = relationship than we are DOOMED.

In todays society we are stripping away so much thats preventing us from prospering in having BEAUTIFUL relationships. When do we take time to learn that persons favorite color? favorite food? Favorite activity?....interests! ., those are the little things that uncover who that person is. Seriously maybe those are questions you're DIVORCED parents can't even answer about their EXES. With the high rate of divorce, and the rapid speed of sex, no wonder marriages aren't lasting. WE DON'T EVEN KNOW EACH OTHER. When you take the time to get to know someone's interests, dislikes, and practicing overall communication the little surprises that show up in marriages, should no longer be surprises. You should know the ins and outs of that person. ...but going back to this sex thing, its so rushed that we neglect EVERYTHING ELSE more IMPORTANT that matter.

Some people even base suitable marriage on whether the man or woman is good in bed.OH YEAAA!! Because at the end of the day, you don't want to be tied down to someone who is simply amazing, but has yet to prove to be amazing in bed yet, right?... WRONG!
In a society where most people are of Christian faith, most relationships don't even surpass a YEAR without sex, and has now trickled down to TWO MONTHS. I can't judge due to my own personal experiences, but the fact that I am becoming more aware of the value of sex, it's making me want to aware others! ... just something to think about.

So to you dear blog readers, I begin my commitment to value myself and join the "true love awaits" movement.

Convo Recap.

Recently i had a conversation with one of my good friends, Khalid, about women and men. It was such an enlightening topic that shed light on both of us.

His view; ( i suppose representing the overall males) is that women are such irrational beings. We act too much on our emotions and ultimately don't know what we want. Women are basically incapable of being rational, and we become so emotionally attached that it disables us from using our minds. Women force men to play a game and we constantly puts them through tests.

I laughed.

then digested this && unfortunately it is very true. We have our side too.
as a woman, yes we are irrational creatures. We love hard and sadly, easy. Men are so rational that they are incapable of matching our emotions, which is why we keep attempting to draw t out of them. The tests are to ensure us that this is a "wise investment" since at a drop of a dime women would give up everything for a man.


With all of this bickering back and fourth, we finally drew a conclusion. WE WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER. men and women have to reach a common ground where we can combine both the emotions of a female and rationality of a man to balance it out for the good. Will that ever happen? probably not, but it's a good method.
Why don't we ever try? What's the problem with men giving in a little more to their emotions, and women instead of wearing our hearts on our sleeve, perhaps carry it in our back pockets instead...hmmmm , just a thought!....